listening to the album Consuming Worship - and it really is.
I just wanted to say something about the reason why I sing. I sing because I know that day after day God is Still the SAME.
yesterday I had a very upsetting day - nothing upsetting happened - but I felt very sad and just upset. about. about my life. and my father and mother - who's wedding anniversary would have been yesterday. it's not the actual date that matters to me -it's that I recently realised that I have a lot further to go than I had originally realised - I thought - ok, I'm fine now - or ok - it's better with time. but the truth is that sometimes - it isn't really. sometimes it doesn't get better. I can't address why that is - only my Father God knows why. but what I can say is that He continues to provide. yesterday I was able to call my boyfriend and he came over and we went for a really long walk. and then I was able to run away to his place for a nap. but then today - when I still felt fragile and sad I felt that I could not ask him for help. I felt like - "yesterday you spent the day with me, comforting me, listening, buying me food, making me food, and just giving me the time that I need - I can't ask you to do that all over again..." and even when I was formulating the question - he wasn't around....
what I'm saying is - God is ALWAYS AROUND. I went to God, and I reread His promises. and I remembered that he is ALWAYS there. every single time. I can't always call up someone - and somedays there is no one to call... but GOD is always there. always here.
I can't express how much that means to know. And his promises are irrefutable. It says in Psalms 27:
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. "
So I'm holding onto that promise.
it says in Psalm 30
"weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
I'm looking for my Joy.
